Preliminary Final - Fremantle v Hawthorn

Preliminary Final – Fremantle v Hawthorn

Friday 25 September 2015

Domain Stadium, Perth

The Big Decisions

There comes a time in life when big decisions have to be made; when you have to make the right decision at the right time. I’m therefore pleased to report that when those moments occurred in Saturday nights’ Preliminary Final between Hawthorn and Fremantle, officialdom stepped in to make the correct calls at the crucial time. 

First there was the free kick off the ball against Hayden Ballantyne that turned a Fremantle clearance into a Hawthorn shot on goal. Yes it was there; for all that some people carried on about the softness of the decision, you could see that Ballantyne clearly bowled over Suckling so that he could become free on the wing to receive the kick. He was after an unfair advantage so it was a definite free kick. 

Then David Hale was set to shoot for goal from outside 50 metres, when one of the umpires called a 50 metre penalty. Channel 7 never showed the infringement, possibly the cameras didn’t pick it up, or possibly, it was only detectable to the trained eye of an umpire. In any case the resulting goal brought the Hawks equal after Freo’s fast start.

As welcome as these decisions were, there was an even more crucial intervention before the ball was even bounced, when the AFL decreed that Hawthorn could wear their brown and gold stripes in place of the Power rangers outfit. It is a measure of how hideous our gold and silver lame outfit is that the brown and gold stripes look to be the epitome of timeless style by comparison.

Freo have been fast starters in their victories this season, so wresting control in the first quarter was where we own the match. After Chris Mayne missed a set shot that would have put Freo three goals up, the Hawks kicked the next five for the quarter. This included the two umpire assisted goals, but also set shots to Breust, Schoenmakers – after a glorious pass from Cyril, and a round the body snap from Suckling. 

When Breust turned on the boundary line early in the second quarter and got the ball to Liam Shiels who found Schoey with a pin-point pass, the Hawks had opened up a 22 point lead. 

From that moment, however, Freo got back into the game and began to dominate general play. But key moments went Hawthorn’s way. Roughhead, wearing a bandage that made his head look like a circumcised penis, slotted a beautiful goal from 50 metres out on the boundary line. A moment later on the half-time siren, Fremantle’s Jonathon Griffin had a set shot from 30 metres out directly in front and as the Freo players began celebrating, the ball veered off dramatically and smacked into the post. The Hawks by 16 points at half-time.

Brownlow medal favourite Nat Fyfe had been hampered by a leg injury early and the signs were not good for him when even Ben McEvoy outran him on the wing. However, in a tribute to the powers of sports science, he came out after half-time as if nothing was wrong and began winning the ball out of the middle. When it emerged after the match that he actually had a fractured fibula, you had to wonder how he had walked, let alone burst through packs with the ball. 

The third quarter followed the pattern of the second, with the margin hovering between 8 – 28 points. Hawthorn couldn’t get the lead beyond five goals and Freo couldn’t get it within one goal.  Bradley Hill, Cyril and McEvoy kicked goals, only for Barlow, Mayne and Griffin to respond. Then Fyfe dived across Suckling’s legs right on the siren. Suckling took the free kick from outside 50 metres with four men on the mark sent it curling through – it was the kick heard across the world, or at least by our neighbours as we roared it home from our lounge room. 

The First Rule of Football

The final quarter began with Hawthorn leading by 17 points, but this was reduced to just nine points after Freo opened with a goal and a couple of behinds. It looked like Freo had all the momentum and were going to overrun the Hawks. Then Hodge limped off to compound our woes.  

It wasn’t looking promising, and then Freo broke the first rule of football: never attempt a longish back pass when Cyril is in the general vicinity. And by ‘general vicinity’ we pretty much include the entire forward 50. Tommy Sheridan dropped the mark and Cyril swooped onto the ball and kicked a goal. 

Then they did it again. Cameron Sutcliffe kicked across goal and this time Tendal Mzungu was spoiled by Matt Suckling, allowing Cyril to again swoop on the ball and snap another goal. When Taylor Duryea, who had played one of his best games for Hawthorn, won the ball in the midst of three Dockers, and sidestepped all of them to kick a long goal from the boundary, the Hawks were 26 points in front. We were still up on our feet celebrating when Roughead kicked another won – five goals up and surely on our way home for another Grand Final. Glorious.

Final scores: Hawthorn 15 4 94 d Fremantle 10 7 67

What we learned: Freo fans are feral. Two weeks ago while watcing the Qualifying Final between Hawthorn and the Eagles, I opined in my ignorance that Egles fans were more feral than Freo fans. But events at the Preliminary Final suggest otherwise. Before the game even started, they booed Brian Lake’s kids as they ran off the ground after celebrating his 250^th by running through the banner with him.  I mean these are 6 year old kids. There was the bloke on the boundary who shaped up to either hit or slap Isaac Smith as he ran to collect a bouncing ball near the fence. Then, when Luke Breust was pushed into the fence he was assaulted by a fan wielding an inflatable anchor and verbally abused by another hero leaning over the fence. Plus disturbing footage later emerged of a guy in the crowd wearing a no. 10 Freo jumper punching a woman in the face.  Perhaps he was inspired by his number-sake, Michael Walters, who was reported for punching Taylor Duryea after the ¾ time siren, but this was a far more vile and violent act. At least Duryea could reasonably expect to be hit at some point. When Clarko said before the game that Hawthorn had to take the crowd out of it, he wasn’t speaking figuratively; he meant literally, as in soccer style fan lock-outs. Turns out he knew what he was talking about. 

What we already knew: ”Ballantyne’s a …” I was watching the match at home with my family and the most dramatic incident occurred late in the second quarter when my eldest son Oscar dropped the c-bomb at Hayden Ballantyne over some typical piece of Ballantynesque interference. This caused his mother to turn on him, and although I also reminded him about appropriate language, there was part of me that thought, well, when the boys’s right, he’s right.

Second Semi Final – Hawthorn v Adelaide

Second Semi Final – Hawthorn v Adelaide

Friday 18 September 2015

MCG, Melbourne

Leadership Spill

Leadership was very much on the minds of Australians this week. After last week’s loss to the Eagles, many commentators questioned the leadership of Luke Hodge. A quiet game on the back of a drink-driving incident the week previous indicated to many that Hodge was no longer fit to lead the Hawks – that Hawthorn needed a spill of leadership positions.

A good institution, one with the right values and a clear vision, one with the right leader already in place, trusts its decisions and stays strong. That’s why Hawthorn stuck with Luke Hodge and why the Liberal Party had to replace Tony Abbott with Malcolm Turnbull. Of course the leadership of Hawthorn is far more significant than the leadership of the nation, but perhaps both now have the best possible leaders at the helm. 

With Abbott gone and Hawthorn remaining alive in the finals, Australia feels like a better place than it did a week ago. 

Abbott had to go because, above all, he’s a dick: misogynist, monarchist, racist, homophobe, and worse, a rugby fan. In the end Abbott simply didn’t have the numbers whereas Hodge did: 15 kicks, 9 handballs, 4 marks, 4 tackles and 4 goals, including the first, a long straight set shot from 50 metres after intercepting a kick-in. This was effectively the match winner.

From then Hawthorn weren’t troubled at all. In the first quarter Hawthorn kicked 8 goals to 2, and Adeaide’s goals were both fortuitous: a free kick for deliberate out of bounds agsinst Grant Birchall who was pushed as he kicked it, forcing the ball over the line, and a freak gal from Patrick Dangerfield on the boundary, under pressure and on the run – there was more chance of him remaining with the Adelaide Crows for the 2016 season than repeating the feat. If that was how they were going to get their goals, we weren’t in much danger. 

And so it proved. Three first quarter goals to Breeeuuust, two to Hodgey, plus a sizzling running goal from Isaac Smith set up the win. So dominant was Hawthorn that even Ben Stratton had a set shot. He missed, but it was one more set shot than his opponent, Eddie Betts managed. Jordan Lewis finished the quarter by threading through a goal after the siren. 

Ryan Schoenmakers had another one within two minutes of the retstart. The second quarter was more even, but only because the goal review system came into play to overrule another Breust goal, claiming his boot never quite touched the ball. Breust later said he definitely kicked it, and that’s good enough for me. 

A half time lead of 45 points seemed fairly impregnable, but when Rough sent a long bomb sailing through from the centre square within one minute of the restart, it was effectively over. Though not before another goal review fiasco – this time they didn’t overrule the umpire when they should have.  Not that it mattered; bu that stage the score was 97 to 43.

This is how finals are meant to be: an anxiety free procession of Hawthorn goals – 21 in all. The most stressful this game got was late in the final quarter when we were wondering why Cyril was still out there risking injury when he should have been under the ministrations of a talented masseuse, or even a cocktail waitress. 

Speaking of Cyril, in an inventive marketing ploy, Hawthorn placed one of Cyril’s boots at a designated spot near the ground post-match and then tweeted the location to fans. Whoever got there first would receive the second boot hand delivered from Cyril. The boot was placed at Citizen’s Park in Richmond, on Gleadell Street. My friend Chan-Tha lives just around the corner so she set off, but sadly just missed out. On the video the club posted of the exercise, you can see her having a quite understandable tantrum when she realised she missed it. It’s a shame because it would have been good to drink champagne from after we win the premiership. 

Final scores: Hawthorn 21 9 135 d Adelaide Crows 8 13 61

What we learned: Hawthorn has made it to a fifth successive Preliminary Final – one step closer to the three-peat, but we're not getting ahead of ourselves; at Hawthorn we’re just taking it one Grand Final at a time. 

What we already knew: Just as most non-Hawthorn fans generally like Luke Hodge, or at least wish he played for their club, likewise most left wing voters quite like Malcolm Turnbull, or wish he’d mount a leadership challenge against Bill Shorten.  

Qualifying Final - West Coast v Hawthorn

West Coast v Hawthorn 

Friday 11 September 2015

Domain Stadium, Perth

Premiership Hangover…Literally

Premierships Are Plural 

Twenty3 is back for the finals! We took the year off, partly due to footy fatigue after three solid years of blogging - call it the premiership hangover, make that a premierships hangover - at Hawthorn premierships are plural - and partly because after the Round 2 loss to Essendon I nearly lost the will to live, let alone blog. But like Dipper, Dermie and Burgoyne, I live for September so I'm back on board to see the Hawks through to our historic three-peat.

Good things come in threes: little pigs, blind mice, Macbeth’s witches, the Chappell brothers, the Beckett trilogy, Stooges, the toes on a sloth, manage a trois’, Hendrix albums, Lethal Leigh…the list goes on, so it seems only right that we add Hawthorn premierships to the inventory: 2013, 2014 & 2015.

The sun is out for the first time in what seems like months, the blossoms are blooming, spicing the air with a piquant scent and the news is devoted almost entirely to football - even the biggest migration of refugees across Europe since WWII can't keep Cyril off the front page of Friday's Age. It must be finals time - Spring has sprung and I'm on heat for Hawthorn! 

Hodgey – a man of conviction

The Hawks are well and truly primed for this year's flag. Hodgey's preparation is as meticulous as always - he's down to 3 or 4 drinks before a game now. 

Serving his second suspension of the year in the fortnight before the finals, Luke Hodge was caught driving while over the limit, blowing .068. Attempting to explain himself on television, he said he’d had 3 or 4 drinks at a poker night with mates. Of course all drinkers who have ever tried to cover their tracks after drinks with mates know that by 3 or 4, he really meant 5 or 6, and they were probably pints not pots. 

Most observers were surprised that there was no blanket ban on drinking, but when a photo of the night emerged showing Campbell Brown at the table, fellow Hawks fan Baker expressed surprise that there was no blanket ban on Campbell Brown. Where there’s an off field indiscretion, he pointed out, Brown is usually somewhere nearby. 

Of course Hodgey’s beer diet might be in the name of bulking up a bit to compensate for 'lite & easy' diet he's been on for the past year.

While idiotic, and perhaps indicative of a mindset not wholly focussed on the premiership campaign, Hodgey’s a bit unlucky - a victim of technology and the new puritanism. In the past a well-recognised player in this position would be waved on by the officer with the promise of a couple of Grand Final tickets, and the results of the test would be ‘misplaced’.  The technology no longer allows for that, but notwithstanding the fact that he shouldn’t have driven while under the influence, calls for Hodgey to be suspended by the club for the finals are ridiculous.  He’s received the legal fine the demerit points are deducted and he’s now the face of drink driving. No one else, save for members of the legal profession, lose their job over such an incident.

As a two-time premiership captain and two-time Norm Smith medallist, Luke Hodge is widely respected as a man of his conviction. Unfortunately, that now means a drink driving conviction.

Buddy’s Issues

The other big pre-finals story is Buddy Franklin. When is Buddy not the big story? As we all know, Buddy has withdrawn from Sydney's final this week due to unspecified 'mental health' issues as well as some explicitly specified epilepsy. 

Of course at Twenty3 we wish Buddy only the best - after all, this blog is named after him, after a fashion. We can’t help thinking, however, that his issues, whatever they are, might be another manifestation of the Hawthorn curse. 

Evidence is mounting that players who leave Hawthorn for another club suddenly lose their ability to play on the field or cope off the field: Jonathan Hay, Mark Williams, Dermie, Jade Rawlings, Campbell Brown, there are numerous examples of players who were never the same once they swapped the brown and gold for some other team's kit. Trant Croad is probably the best exhibit – he lost his powers when he went to Fremantle and then magically regained them when he returned to Hawthorn. 

We sincerely hope this isn't the case with Buddy. He's probably the most exciting footballer to play the game in the past 20 years - okay Cyrils' not bad either - so we'd love to see him recover, get back out there kicking goals, and more importantly, living well. 

You Are What You Wear

Somehow, despite finishing third, Hawthorn are hot favourites for the flag...I mean we're hot and all that, but you'd think the teams that finished first and second – Fremantle and West Coast - might rate a mention. I’m less certain, it is worth noting that in each of our past five premierships, 1989, 1991, 2008, 2013 and 2014, we’ve defeated Geelong at some stage in the Finals series or in the Grand Final itself, but this year they haven’t qualified for the finals, so it’s going to be tough without our fnals bunnies to beat along the way. 

So we’re drawn to play the Eagles in Perth. In 1991 this was the scene of what I consider to be one of our greatest finals victories – defeating a dominant Eagles in the first final played outside Victoria. I wasn’t so confident this time around, even though we’d defeated them at the same venue a few weeks earlier. 

For a start we were wearing our Power Rangers outfit. This little number features a gold brocade yolk over a shimmering silver front teamed with white shorts and white socks. Sure it’s spring fashion week in Melbourne but that doesn’t mean we have to dress for the catwalk. In the debate over worst strips ever, our one-off navy top with brown and gold harlequin pattern always comes in at number one, but this new clash strip looks certain to usurp it. 

It’s got a marching girl, ice dancer vibe that not only renders it unsuitable for football, but makes it look too camp even for Mardi-Gras. 

I’m at my friend Chan-Tha’s for the match with a few Hawks fans, one Eagles fan and a few randoms who ostensibly don’t care. A couple of the boys have gone to Perth for the match. We are envious at first, but by ¾ time we’re glad to be back in Melbourne, away from the horror show.

I know umpires are only human and want to be loved, but they became addicted to the roars of approval that greeted them every time they awarded the eagles a free kick – so they kept awarding them. 

It is often commented that the crowd in Perth virtually constitute an extra player for the home team, and this is why. A few weeks earlier the Eagles crowd were at the centre of the Adam Goodes booing controversy. While it is widely understood as being racist, the Eagles crowd, in their defence, pretty much boo anyone not wearing an Eagles jumper. And vehemently so. The Sydney home crowd may be the most ignorant, in that they still have no idea of the rules, and simply don’t understand any decision that goes against Sydney, the Eagles crowd, even more so than the Port Adelaide and Freo crowds, are by far the most feral.  They hate everyone equally.

Predictably they are booing Hodge on this night. You do have to wonder about Eagles fans – these are the same people who gave Ben Cousins, a well known ice addict a standing ovation and named a wing after Chris Mainwarring who died from a drug oversose – yet they boo a bloke who had 3 or 4, okay, 5 or 6 drinks. Go figure.

Tricky conditions – wind, rain and Eagles fans – made scoring tough.  As a result, goals for both teams only came through errors; Hawthorn clangers or Eagles indiscretions – Xavier Ellis’ coathanger on Cyril that resulted in a 50 m penalty and may rob the X man of playing further part in the finals. 

The first quarter was relatively even, and we looked reasonably dangerous when we went forward. Cyril was playing like he meant it, and we matched the Eagles for endeavour. We even led by 1 point at quarter time. But the second and third quarters saw the Hawks outscored 10 goals to 2, and we were 50 points behind at ¾ time. I don’t want to inventory the horror goal for goal, or clanger for clanger, but it was our worst performance for the season – and this in a year when we lost to both Essendon and the Giants. 

Hodge played like he was still sheepish about his recent bender, or possibly still hungover, Rough made uncharacteristic errors, at one point dropping a simple chest mark, recovering only to miss a simple shot on goal, Shiels was sloppy, Breust and Smith ineffective. But it is unfair to sibgle out individual players or specific incidents; Hawthorn was simply outplayed by a better team on the night. 

Also Clarkson was outcoached by former lieutenant Adam Simpson. Like Hardwick before him this season, a former Hawks assistant has worked out how to stop Hawthorn scoring, or even moving the ball with anything like fluidity. Admittedly, Clarkson made some strange moves, starting with Frawley up front, and then moving Lake up forward. It’s hard to know what the thinking behind Lake going forward is, though doubtless the genius behind this move will become obvious when he kicks 5 goals in the Grand Final and wins another Norm Smith medal. It may have just een a pragmatic move caused by Gunston going off with a likely season ending ankle injury.

All in all it was a disastrous night for the Hawks. Our finals campaign hasn’t been helped by assistant coach Brendon Bolton leaving to go accept the senior coaching role at Carlton (I mean good on him, but couldn’t it wait – aren’t there AFL rules preventing this?) nor by the tragedy of Brett Ratten’s son being killed in a car accident, or indeed by the news of Buddy’s issues. The players would be inhuman if they weren’t affected by these events.  If we can win the flag from here – and it’s not impossible – then we’ll have pulled off one of the greatest premierships of all time.

Final scores: West Coast 14 12 96 d Hawthorn 9 10 64.

What we learned: Alastair Clarkson’s mantra of when one soldier goes down, you just bring in another has been adopted not just by other clubs, but has even crept into the literary world. This week new books have been published by authors purporting to be other people. David Lagercrantz is continuing ‘The Girl…’ series in the wake of Stieg Larsson’s death, while Anthony Horowitz is writing the James Bond books that Ian Fleming can’t write, also due to having died.

Still in the world of, ahem, culture, news in that Bryan Adams is to perform at the Grand Final. Second rate entertainment like that probably deserves an all-WA Grand Final.  

What we already knew: When Brisbane won the third of their three-peat premierships in 2003, they too lost the qualifying final intertstate (to Collingwood) only to receover and eventually defeat Sydney in Sydney in the Preliminary final, before reversing the earlier result against Collingwood in the Grand Final. Could this all be part of Clarko’s masterplan?