Aurora Stadium, Saturday 8 June 2014
Days of Future Past
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| Matt Spangher in the rooms |
Still the dates are important; 2023 is obviously significant because of the ‘23’ and its association with all things Hawthorn, but 1973 is also meaningful. In the movie it is the crucial year when whatever was meant to be happening all began, and this is where it ties in with the Hawks because 1973 was the also first year I became a member of Hawthorn.
They were simpler days in 1973. Hawthorn played their home games in Hawthorn, wore black shorts for home games and white shorts for away games, fans could simply wander in to the rooms under the grandstand and watch the players warm up – you could smoke in there too if you were so inclined or addicted. I was only nine years old so I didn’t, but some of the players did.
In 1973 the USA’s chief enemies were Russia, North Vietnam and China. By 2023, the movie asserts, humans will be all but wiped out and the chief enemies will be exotic creatures like sentinels or mutants – possibly both (I couldn’t quite work it out). Likewise in footy, in 1973 the league was called the VFL and our enemies were teams from nearby Melbourne suburbs like Collingwood, Richmond and Carlton, not weird beings from far-off places like Greater Western Sydney last week and the West Coast Eagles this week. And we were playing them in Tasmania and wearing our sixth different ensemble outfit in 11 matches.
X-man or Ex-man?
The plot of X-Men may well have been confusing, but equally baffling was the score when I checked in on the Footy Live app. I couldn’t get to the game in Tassie, but I could get to the Linc so I was following the score updates on the app until I go to the pub. Each time I’d checked the scores had been fairly even, but as I stood waiting for the tram I saw that we were trailing 22-34. What was going on down there?
What I didn’t know until later was that the blow-out had been the work of one man – the X-Man himself...Xavier Ellis. Ellis, formerly of Hawthorn and now with the Eagles had kicked two early second quarter goals to give the Eagles a break. I was sorry when the X-man left Hawthorn, particularly if he was going to kick goals against us. He’d always been one of my favourite players at the Hawks and it was a shame that constant injuries had interrupted his continuity and career. I’d been happy that he was doing well at the Eagles, but he didn’t need to turn on us.
Mutants or Mayblooms?
The parallels between the X-Men and the Hawthorn v West Coast Eagles match didn’t end with the fact the an actual ‘X-man’ was playing. For a start, like Wolverine in the movie, the Eagles had to travel back in time from WA just to get the battlefield. Not 50 years admittedly, but the flight from Perth crosses two time zones and can seem that long, especially if, like Dean Cox, you’re about seven feet tall and you’re stuck in Economy.
Then there’s the various powers of the various X-men: Iceman who creates a frozen terrain – well the match was being played in Launceston, Colossus might be Luke Lowden, Hawthorn’s seven foot plus debutant, although his haircut suggested Split Enz circa 78, Quicksilver, whose speed made him nearly as fast as Cyril Rioli, who was making a very welcome return for the Hawks, and Professor X, the mastermind of the operation who was confined to a wheelchair, not unlike the situation of Hawks coach Alastair Clarkson, still battling Guillain-Barre disease. Plus there was an evil dwarf, but any resemblance between him and Paul Puopolo is entirely coincidental. Even the girl serving at the bar looked a little like Storm; well, she was wearing something black and tight. All that was missing was the hot blue babe who can change her appearance and take the form of anyone...not unlike Xavier Ellis who exchanged the brown and gold stripes for the blue and gold.
Octo-Rough
As I entered the pub I caught a glimpse of the score and saw that the Eagles were 46 – they’d kicked a further two goals while I was on the short tram ride. After our lacklustre performance the previous week I was beginning to fear the worst until I saw that we were also on 46. If we’d been able to bang on four goals in the same time then it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. Perhaps we could win after all.
Both sides kicked points while I grabbed a beer from the bar, making it 47 each. I took a seat in a nook with a few other blokes, one of whom was wearing a Hawks scarf, so I knew I was in safe company. From the moment I sat down until half-time, the Hawks added 3.1 to nothing, with Gunston kicking 2.1 and Roughead kicking a contender for worst goal of the year. He plucked the ball out of the air on the line and as he dropped it to his boot, he missed, but happily it rolled onto his other foot and tumbled over for a goal. Half time, Hawks by 19, and at that point I learnt that Rough had kicked five goals.
I also discovered that there was a strong breeze blowing to the end Hawthorn had been kicking in the second. This meant we had to hold the Eagles in the third quarter. Half way through the quarter, both teams had added a goal, so it was looking good for the Hawks, but it was looking even better when we added five goals in the next 7 or 8 minutes; first Isaac Smith, then Matt Suckling, Rough, a beautiful snap from Cyril and then Hodge off the ground in a goal square scramble. It was a blistering but decisive burst that pretty much decided the game. At last a narrative thread that made sense to me.
I was seated under one screen and facing another, so I couldn’t clearly make out the conversation being carried on across from me, but it appeared that the older of the fellas opposite was an ex-player – he was busy regaling his younger interlocuters with tales of footy in the 80s, 90s. I didn’t recognise him and I didn’t like to ask – besides, my attention was distracted by watching the Hawks, who were tackling hard and playing with some of the zest that had been missing the previous week. Spangher was competing well, as were Ryan Schoenmakers and Angus Litherland, while Grant Birchall was as creative and assured as ever.
The final quarter was fairly lacklustre but after the late third quarter flurry it didn’t really matter. Roughead kicked his seventh and Luke Lowden his third, by which time I was onto my fourth pot. Obviously we were wanting Rough to snag a few more and he got one more chance just near the end when he ran onto a loose ball, took possession, regained his balance and like Octo-mum, delivered his eighth.
Final scores: Hawthorn 19 9 123 d West Coast Eagles 12 7 79
ladder position: 2nd
attendance: 15,503
What we learned: Is Dane Swan a bit dim or does he just think the rest of us are? During the week he was criticised for attending the opening of a pizza and pasta restaurant that has links with underworld figure, Mick Gatto. Swan defended himself by claiming he wasn’t aware Gatto had any links to the restaurant, which might be fair enough if the restaurant wasn’t called “Gatto Nero”. The moralists in the press who are alarmed about the company Dane Swan keeps should be more concerned by the shady characters with whom he shares a dressing room before they cast aspersions about other members of the community.
What we already knew: The competition is definitively set up to favour Sydney. We know they receive $1 million more in the salary cap than other clubs. Their president can act as indignant and offended as he wants whenever someone suggests that this arrangement isn’t equitable, but the simple fact is they get $1 million more in the salary cap and then bought a certain high profile player for guess what, approximately $1 million a year.
It also seems, however, that their players have a licence to hit without any fear of a sanction. This week Buddy made head-high contact with a Gold Coast player when he elected to bump rather than tackle him. It was almost identical to the incident in Round 23 of 2013 when Buddy bumped Nick Malceski and was suspended for 1 week. This week, however, now that he plays for Sydney, it is apparently okay! The only difference is the jumper he was wearing. I thought the head was sacrosanct, or does it depend on who’s head? The fact that the Suns player didn’t overact like Malceski did shouldn’t matter. This comes a week after Adam Goodes elbowed Josh Selwood in the head and wasn’t charged. Even if you allow for the fact that Selwood was probably ducking, it was still an indiscriminate elbow to the head. And the week previous Dan Hanneberry made head high contact with Essendon’s Hurley, but wasn’t charged. Nor was Nick Malceski who knocked out an umpire. Other players have received I6 week bans for just touching an umpire – Malceski knocked one unconscious. Meanwhile Roughead was suspended for a week for bumping McGlynn when we played Sydney. Seriously, quite aside from the unfair salary cap allowance off the field, it seems Sydney is playing by different rules on the field.
Apology: My apologies for the late posting for this match. Time constraints, technical difficulties and the ageing process combined to thwart me this week.
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