MCG, Sunday 14 April 2012
This is what you want … this is what you get
“This is what you want…this is what you get” (The Order of Death, 1984)
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| John Lydon: "Kick it to Buddy" |
OK, some of us wanted a 20 goal thrashing, but that was about as likely as Johnny playing the role of demure, courteous guest on prime time Australian television. To demand a 20 goal thrashing would be to display the sort of petulance with which Johnny endeared himself to the Australian public. Still, just like Johnny’s rant, it would have been fun.
“May the road rise with you” (Rise, 1986) – dedicated to David O’Halloran
PiL did, however, perform a powerful rendition of their 1986 hit ‘Rise’. Written in support of Nelson Mandela, the song features a soaring chorus in which Johnny sings, “May the road rise with you”, a sentiment which we can also bestow on former Hawk, David O’Halloran, who sadly passed away during the week.
O’Halloran, nicknamed ‘Rubber’, presumably for his bandy legs, but quite possibly for other reasons, wore number 8, played 160 games for Hawthorn, including two premierships – 1976 and 1983 – and was the prototype for the long-kicking, left-foot half back flanker that is now synonymous with Hawthorn.
R.I.P. Rubber - an eternal Hawthorn champion.
“Sipping champagne…football on Sunday” (The Suit, 1979)
Linking John Lydon to a Hawthorn Collingwood match may seem to be drawing a longish bow, but I would counter that a close reading of his lyrics suggests an affinity with this fixture. In the same song, ‘Rise’, he sings “I could be black, I could be white”, an oblique reference perhaps to his famously woeful dental hygiene, (as in, my teeth are so bad I could be a Collingwood supporter). One of the tracks he performed from his latest album is called ‘Out of the Woods’ – clearly a song of redemption, while his vocal for Leftfield’s ‘Open Up’, with which he concluded his set on Thursday night features an uplifting refrain that sounds a lot like, “Burn Collingwood Burn!”Juxtaposing this anti-Collingwood theme, references to Hawthorn also abound, such as ‘The Suit’, where he sings “You’ve got a suntan, football on Sunday, society boy… sipping champagne, football on Sunday, home on the train” a string of descriptors that could only apply to a Hawthorn fan.
Likewise in his masterpiece, ‘The Flowers of Romance’, he sings, “I’ve got binoculars on top of Box Hill”, indicating a man who is keeping a forensic eye on the development of young Box Hill Hawks players. Lydon as Hawthorn talent scout? Why not?
“You only see me for the clothes I wear” (Public Image, 1978)
The Hawks took to the field in a new away strip – our third outfit in as many matches. Like any society dame, Hawthorn simply refuses to be seen wearing the same thing twice. At this rate it won’t be long before we go retro chic and don the infamous harlequin number (below) from the mid 90s night series.
There had been a double blow at selection with Brad Sewell, one of our most industrious midfielders, ruled out, while for Collingwood, Nick Maxwell, one of our surest avenues to goal, was also ruled out.
And early on it looked like these absences would be telling. Collingwood was using the ball cleverly and combining well, while Hawthorn was second to the ball, slipping, sliding and spilling marks. A great team goal for the Pies involved six slick handballs and culminated in Jamie Elliott kicking his second goal for the quarter.
Collingwood was dominating early play and created multiple scoring opportunities, whereas Hawthorn managed only two first quarter goals: one from a free kick to Bradley Hill and one to Burgoyne after a pass from Buddy, a move which had originated in a free to Lewis.
The pattern continued in the second quarter and became alarming when Collingwood led by 22 points with Cloke and Elliott having kicked three each, whereas their counterparts, Buddy and Breust, had none between them.
Insistent rain drove us from our seats in the open to an under cover perch high on level 4. This offers a great vantage point to study set-ups, systems and strategies, only it seemed Hawthorn didn’t have any. Instead all I could see were gaping holes where Collingwood could swing the ball forward to where Cloke was one-out against Schoenmakers.
Either Breust was playing a blinder – setting up the low-fi Hawthorn hum of “Breuuuuuust” – or the Collingwood fans were finding fairly regular fault with the umpiring and booing at every stoppage. It was unclear if there was a specific decision which upset them, or whether they were afflicted by some sort of Tourette’s instinct.
As Lydon points out in ‘Careering’, “There must be meaning behind the moaning.” And in his exchange with Carrie Bickmore, when so eloquently said, “Shut up. Shut Up. Shut Up. Shut Up”, he might just as well have been addressing the Collingwood crowd.
With no discernible shift in ascendancy, somehow Hawthorn got back in the match with three quick goals: first new boy Anderson snapped truly, Buddy marked strongly from a speculative Burgoyne punt, and then Hodge took it from a stoppage and got onto a 50 metre spiral punt.
It was half-time and despite being outplayed for much of the game, we were only one point down.
“Anger is an energy” (Rise, 1986)
Clarko can’t have been happy at half-time and he clearly found a way to transmute this anger into energy, as the Hawks were a different team after the break.
The three Bs: Breust, Buddy and Birchall banged on goals after the break and with energy and enterprise; the Hawks were beginning to get on top. Hodge was becoming the most influential player on the ground, Gibson, Stratton and Birch were controlling the back line and Mitchell was in every pack.
When Cloke slotted a behind with 8.25 minutes to go in the third, Hawthorn led 10.9 to 9.9 and it looked like we were in for a tight finish. Until the next passage of play…
Guerra took the kick out, launching a torp into the centre square where Stratton marked and played on. Tackled by Dwyer he got off a handball to a running Franklin, who hurdled the prone bodies of Stratton and Dwyer as they fell to the ground in front of him and slammed the ball on his boot from about 75 metres out. The ball landed in the vacant goal square and bounced through. It had taken just 12 seconds from post to post.
If those who judge the goal of the year weren't so obsessed with the now bog standard dinky rolling banana goal, they might like to consider this one in their adjudications. Or the next one...
Next up Hodge grabbed the ball from the stoppage and sent through another 50 metre torp, post high. Then Roughead kicked one from a dubious free kick, Buddy ran onto a loose ball and passed to Burgoyne in the goal square, and then Stratton and Anderson dispossessed Pendlebury, Cyril got it to Breust who kicked another. Three quarter time and the Hawks lead 15.9 to 11.9 and we were looking strong.
The final quarter commenced with a goal off the ground from Buddy and the Hawks continued to edge ahead, adding six more goals, making it 15 goals to six in the second half and a comprehensive 55 point triumph.
Final scores: Hawthorn 22 13 145 d Collingwood 13 12 90.
What we learned: Johnny Rotten hasn't mellowed. Jed Anderson may well be our next Mitchell and despite a couple of errors, Taylor Duryea played a strong debut game. Plus his name rhymes.
By missing his walk-in goal from the square to defeat Essendon, Christopher Mayne of the Fremantle Dockers brought shame on the no. 23 jumper. It showed, however, that Freo doesn't need another number 23 with questionable accuracy, so perhaps they can leave Buddy alone.
What we already knew: That Luke Hodge bloke goes alright doesn't he? News today that a woman obsessed with Hugh Jackman threw a shaver full of her her pubic hair at him. I'm not saying I'm kinky, but if Hodge keeps turning it on like he did this week, I can't promise I won't get out the Lady Bic myself.
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