Etihad Stadium, Sunday 15 July 2012
“Even when Cyril dribbles it’s a beautiful thing”
“Rioli picks himself up and dribbles, and even when Cyril dribbles it’s a beautiful thing!” was the full description. I was at the match so didn’t hear the comment live, but a friend texted me with the quote. Regardless of where you stand on the relative delightfulness of Cyril’s dribbling, or indeed any of his other bodily secretions, this is one of Bruce’s more memorable quotes, yet by Cyril’s standards it was a fairly run of the mill goal with just your average amount of unorthodox brilliance.
Even so, this goal and Bruce’s corresponding commentary proved the highlight of another fab Hawks triumph, and if the Bulldogs felt they were still in the game before that goal, they knew as soon as it bounced through that they had little or no chance.
Viva Hawthorn
Viewers of the Tour de France will have been encouraged to see not only the number of Australians lining the stage routes, but those among them wearing the unmistakable brown and gold verticals of Hawthorn. I saw at least three in a 10 minute spell on Saturday night and it’s heartening to know that in France, the capital of fashion, these intrepid Hawthorn fans are making such a bold sartorial statement to signal our Bastille weekend clash with the red, white and blue, or French tri-colour, of the Western Bulldogs.
However, if the Bulldogs represent football’s working class – which they imagine they do – and Hawthorn football’s royalty – and let’s not be shy, we do – then the Hawks turned history on its head and reversed the revolution with a resounding win. There would be no breaking down of the Bastille and overthrowing of the aristocracy on this day – if anything it was the Bulldogs’ working class radicals who were nudged at sword point by the Hawthorn monarchy towards the guillotine.
We played, dare one say it, champagne football, and it was all down to ‘La Tete Brut’ as they say in Paris, or Roughead as we know him. His ruckwork, bullocking work and forward play were exceptional. And he was matched in the middle by Mitchell, who is again turning in a brilliant season, and down back by Gibson and Birchall.
At one point I turned to the man next to me to expostulate, “Ne vous aimez juste l’etat brut?” (don’t you just love the Rough?), but he only glared at me: not just because he was a Bulldogs fan, or couldn't parlez-vous Francais, but because he was a miserable malcontent. During the course of an unpleasant 15 minute harangue, he let fly at, and in no particular order, Andrew Demetriou (“overpaid wanker”) the AFL (“do bugger all for country football”), teachers (“all bloody useless”), Julia Gillard (“f… lesbian bitch” - seriously that’s what he said, at least he left out ‘redhead’), her de facto (“dickhead loser”), the supermarkets (“robbing farmers blind”), Bruce McAvaney (“sounds like he’s got someone under the desk giving him a tug”), Dennis Cometti (“probably the bloke under the desk”), Kellie Underwood (no, you really don’t want to know)…I’m just glad I didn't bring up the carbon tax or asylum seekers. Or highlight that the Western Bulldogs have won only one more premiership than Western Sydney, despite an 86 year head start.
Sharpshooter Schoenmakers
As we all know, Hawthorn went into the match without Buddy, but Hawks fans fearing this could jeopardise our chances were doubtless reassured to see Ryan Schoenmakers go forward to take over Buddy’s role. And while he may not have quite the forward presence or Twitter following of Buddy, he did take a couple of grabs and slotted a couple of goals. Old time fans seeing a blonde, left-footed number 25 lining up for goal might have had a flashback to Charlie Grummich in 1973. Our other ersatz Buddy, Gunston, also kicked 4, including our opener, a very nice long goal from 50 metres out on the boundary.
The first quarter was tight, with the Dogs going in hard and matching Hawthorn in the packs. Tom Williams, playing his first match back from a long layoff was a strong target up forward and even kicked their second goal. The Hawks edged ahead by quarter time, but there was still less than two goals in it when Shaun Higgins kicked his third 11 minutes into the second quarter. Breust added one before half time, and it proved to be the first of nine unanswered Hawk goals between then and midway through the final term. During this period the Bulldogs barely had a clean possession and if they did manage to get it forward, Gibson, Stratton and Birchall brought it straight back out to Roughead, Lewis and Mitchell, who were linking through the centre and getting it up forward, where Gunston, Schoenmakers, Breust and Rioli were getting so many opportunities they couldn’t help but kick a winning score.
Their performance and the spread of goal kickers highlighted how well Hawthorn often plays without Buddy. Having said that, I’m not sure Collingwood is exactly quaking in it s boots at the prospect of facing the dual attack of Gunston and Schoenmakers.
It was another fine win by the Hawks, and I was enjoying it from the relative comfort of corporate seats on Level 2 – feeling very privileged and elitist until my Hawks buddy, Chan-Tha, texted to say that she was getting score updates while relaxing with cocktails and girlfriends in the pool in Bali. I conceded that cocktails and girls in bikinis beat flat beer and ugly, disgruntled Bulldogs fans for ambiance and atmosphere any day.
But as they sing on the boulevards and bicycle tracks of Paris, and even in Bali after sufficient cocktails, “Nous somme une equipe heures a Hawthorn” (“We’re a happy team at Hawthorn”).
Hawthorn 17 14 116 d Western Bulldogs 6 8 44.
Buddy goal tally – 0 = total, 51
Buddy behinds tally – 0 = total, 49
What we like: Cyril’s dribble.
What we don't like: pretentious twats who pepper their language with occasional Franch mots.
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